In today's world, feeling overwhelmed is common and this feeling has featured heavily in my adult life. In addition, the ongoing pressures of family life and managing my needs as a highly sensitive and neurodivergent person can be a real challenge. Many years ago, I discovered that a consistent practice of yoga and mindfulness can really be a lifeline and offer almost magical effects for a nervous system like mine that is prone to feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. Since that time, both Yoga and mindfulness have been guiding me through life's ups and downs, while providing me with moments of peace, and connecting me to an inner strength I didn't know I had back in my early 20s. After a nearly 25 year love affair with these practices, I share here the 5 most impactful ways Yoga & Mindfulness have helped me stay centred during my most stressful life moments.
Reminding Me I Have a Body
I know it sounds bananas to even suggest that it is possible to forget being in a body. However, if you live in this modern, 24-7, tech-driven world, it is quite likely that you spend an increasing amount of time stuck in your head. Never-ending to do lists, planning, working... Thinking, thinking, thinking! All this 'head time' simply means less time feeling, sensing and being in your body, which can mean it gets neglected. Additionally, if you are a deep thinker, are extra sensitive, hugely empathic, or have a brain wired on the neuro-spicy side, then you will be more prone to spending a LOT of time in your head thanks to increased neural networks and extra sensitive nervous system.
When we spend too much time inside our own minds, of course we forget our bodies. This reduced bodily awareness may manifest as not noticing little aches and pains, forgetting to drink often enough, not going to the toilet when we need to, not noticing your shoulders have been up by your ears for the last hour of working at your desk, and so on... This disconnect from our bodies over time takes its toll. I have experienced the not-so-nice effects of this many times in my life, and although it is much easier for me to connect to my body now, I know it is an ongoing act of self-care for me to intentionally connect with my body.
Both Yoga and Mindfulness teach you to become aware of your body. For me, embedding these practices as part of my daily and weekly essential self-care, has allowed me to be acutely aware of where I'm carrying tension, how I am feeling, what I need, and importantly notice any early warning signs that I may be heading towards burnout and need some time out. On a practical level, It also guides me in my physical Yoga practices, showing me where I need to stretch and release tense muscles, when I would benefit from strengthening and heating practices, and where in my body I need to take extra care of. The side effect of this is simply that you feel good! We are not designed to spend so much time in our heads, so when we practice Yoga & mindfulness we are creating a feeling of balance in our being that our body, mind and spirit so craves.
Connecting with My Breath
I have often recounted the following in my classes, particularly when teaching new students, or when teaching a breath focused class; one of the first side effects of practicing Yoga & Mindfulness, is that suddenly you become super aware of your breath - not just in class, but in daily life too. This awareness can be surprising. I remember my shock in my early 20s in becoming aware that anytime I was cooking, I would hold my breath for extended periods without noticing. I also noticed that my breathing would become shallow and more rapid throughout my working day as a school teacher. This new awareness, was initially a little alarming, but with awareness comes power.
Our breath is one of the only automatic processes of our body, with a direct link to our nervous system, that we can (if we choose to) take conscious control of. With practice, I was able to understand how to breathe in a way that soothed my stressed out system and help me to find calm, even amidst chaos. During some recent bereavements, I also became aware of how feelings of grief deeply affected my breath. With a kind and compassionate approach to my self-care practices, I have been able to allow this grief to be felt and move through my body with much less resistance than I would have, had I not been so connected to my body and my breath.
There are many research articles that confirm what I feel when I practice breath work. It has a profound impact on our nervous system and can really help us feel soothed during stressful times and find balance in the everyday. My go-to breathing technique when stressful times are abound is as follows:
Inhale fully into the belly for a count of 4
Hold the breath in for a count of 2
Exhale out fully for a count of 8, while relaxing the face, shoulders and belly
Repeat for a full 2-5 minutes and then let the breath settle back to its natural rhythm
3. Feeling the Feels
The thing about being human that we often like to ignore, or dampen down, is that we have feelings! If you are a deep and sensitive soul like me, then you will have lots of them and they can be extra intense! In our culture and modern life, it seems that there is often no time for feelings, or that emotions get in the way of the slick efficiency required in this fast-paced world. If you are a parent, you may be familiar with those moments when your child has an emotional meltdown right at the time that you are about to leave the house, or some other moment when it feels inconvenient to have big feelings sloshing about. Or maybe you have experienced it yourself, through an uprising of emotion just as you are about to have an important meeting at work and you don't feel there's the time to deal with it so you squash it down.
The thing is, feelings need to be felt. They might be letting us know about something important, or they might simply be a way of releasing the pent-up energy and emotion from a particular situation that has now passed. In busy times, we are more likely to not take notice of how we are feeling, and when we do not acknowledge, notice, identify, allow our emotions to flow, or have any time in the spotlight, they stay put and they collect. They may collect as tension in some corner of our body, or manifest as disrupted sleep, digestive issues, chronic headaches, and so on. Research also shows us that repressed emotions can even contribute to more tricky health conditions too.
The combination of Yoga & Mindfulness provided me with a safe place to connect with myself and begin building my emotional literacy. I was able to discover where in my body certain emotions were felt and in time, I was able to sit with the more challenging feelings, explore what they were telling me, and allow them to release as they were ready. The outcome of this has been a deeper understanding of myself and importantly, a way to navigate emotions through the ebbs and flows of life.
4. Embedding a Nurturing Daily Routine
When times gets so tough, it is like sailing stormy seas, it is the steadiness and predictability of my daily practices that provide me with an anchor point. There was a time, many years a go, when I had been attending my weekly yoga class and loving the after class calm I always felt. Yet a few days after my class, the stress would creep in and I craved my mat and that 'Yoga feeling'. This was when I knew I needed more.
I needed a daily practice, something that helped me to start and end the day with a little of what my weekly class offered. With trial and error (and lots of practice), I began starting my day with a few of my favourite Yoga postures, some breath work and a 10-minute meditation. Over the years it has evolved a little, responding to my needs at the time, but the core of it has stayed the same. A consistent yoga and mindfulness practice has created stability in my life, especially during challenging times.
I know that in reading this, there may be an eye roll or two, or an exasperated thought of 'Where would I get the time for a morning routine?', or 'Im too busy with the kids/dog/work...'. I get it. The first thing is to acknowledge that everyone's situation is different, so what commitments we each have will in some way, dictate how much time you can gift yourself. Yet, there is no denying that we all have exactly the same amount of time as each other. How we divide it up is in part, down to us. This might mean cutting back on something else that is unnecessary, so that you can reuse that time for yourself. When I began my daily practices I had to make sure I got to bed at a reasonable time, so that I could get up early before my children did; this meant a very early start to begin with as they were quite young at time and early risers themselves. While TV evenings were something I sacrificed, it paid off in how much more ready for the day I felt.
Establishing my daily routines empowered me to face whatever came my way each day and offered solace when it felt too much. In establishing your own daily routines, it need not be long-winded, overly complicated, or feel like just 'another thing to do'. It could be as simple as starting your day with a mindful cup of tea, or ending it with writing in a gratitude journal while burning some essential oils. In a way, it does not matter so much what it is that you do, just that it offers you a chance to connect with yourself and that you show up for yourself consistently. Over time, this offers you regular touch points to connect in with yourself and notice how you are feeling and what you need, which is the gateway to a more mindful life.
Slowing Life Down
As mentioned earlier, the world wants us to be available all the time, everyday and be productive at a pace that our bodies and minds cannot keep up with if we want to be healthy, happy and well. One of the first things I noticed about practicing Yoga & Mindfulness, was that the feeling of relentless urgency simply seems to dissolve. There's still stuff to do, but the feeling that the world might end if I didn't get it done right away, was gone. Don't get me wrong it comes back often, but each time it does, I have a bounty of practices that I can turn to which remind me that there is not as much of a rush as we are told. Another interesting byproduct of these practices has been the deeper awareness and attention I have had for the natural world around me. This in turn has fostered even greater slowing down, as nature herself is never in any rush and yet she still gets everything done. As this deeper awareness came, I naturally fell into living in rhythm with the cycles of the day, seasons and themes of the year.
This brings me on to the concept of rest. Constantly feel that you have too much to do, and worries that you'll forget something, may mean you find the idea of rest difficult. Society doesn't help either, as rest is still viewed as lazy, or indulgent. The problem is, when we do not rest well (even when we sleep), we are spending too much time in our fight-flight mode of the nervous system and not enough time in the rest-digest mode. Over time, this impacts all systems of the body. It can make us feel anxious, impact our sleep, our digestion, our immune system, or reproductive health and more. It is simply not sustainable to be in doing mode all the time. Just like the natural world around us, we are nature too. This means that we too are cyclical; we have times of doing and productivity, and times to slow down, retreat and rest. It may sound obvious, but we so often forget this fact. Yoga & Mindfulness are a way in which our nervous systems can slow down and find greater balance, as well as helping us to build a deeper understanding of ourselves and our connection to the natural world around us. When we do this, we slow down; and when we slow down, we discover the calm and joy that has been there all along.
Embracing Calmness amid Chaos
Integrating yoga and mindfulness into my life has reshaped how I not only manage stress, but also my connection to myself and the world around me. These practices help me step back, breathe, and embrace the present, providing gentle reminders that while I cannot control the chaos around me, I can control how I respond and how I take care of myself.
If you feel overwhelmed or struggle with a busy mind, I encourage you to explore yoga and mindfulness. These practices can enhance your sense of wellbeing, bring calm amidst the chaos, and lead to a more peaceful life. Remember, it's perfectly okay to prioritise self-care and find solace in movement and stillness. When we do this for ourselves, it ripples out to others in more ways than you may think.
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Nichola Day is and experienced Yoga Teacher, registered Yoga Therapist, Writer, Speaker and advocate for Highly Sensitive & Neurodivergent people.
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